So Cal and More

My parents are moving...

I'm moving?

It's complicated.  My dad is getting relocated from Michigan to LA, California.  I'm going to school still at MSU.  Now though, when I want to go home or to go see my parents or my dog, I have to fly to LA...

It's weird.  I almost feel homeless.  I have my apartment, but I don't have a house.  My parents will have a house in LA- but is it really home to me?  I've never even been to that house.

So I have no home.  My parents have a home.  Not I.

***

In other news, Buffalo Wild Wings is now off of my "safe places to eat" list.  Thanks to their wings I spent the night sleeping on my bathroom floor, extremely unhappy.

Also, film film and more film.  I've missed it these past couple of weeks, but it is now coming back.  I'll be doing a voice over sock puppet skit with my costar from A Little Change in which I'm a Sarah Palin Sock Puppet and he's a Bush sock puppet for a new sketch comedy tv show that Fight Song Films is putting on.  I also just auditioned for a role in a mockumentary, so we'll see what happens with that.

Live long and prosper people.

St. Patty's Day

Let me just say that St. Patrick's Day will always leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Last year it was right after I broke up with Ex-Boy.  I was around annoying drunk people the whole day, stuck really far off campus with no transportation anywhere.  I finally sobered up and played DD to a party my friends were having that night.  By the time we got there everyone had been drinking all day long and were so on edge that it just wasn't any fun- for a lot of people.

Then I looked over and there it was, Ex-Boy, whom I had only been broken up with for two weeks, yet we still hooked up the week before (I had a hard time letting go), making out with a girl that was brought along to the party with one of my friends.

Needless to say I spent the night in tears.

*****

This year wasn't any better.

First off it was a stressful day of classes, which, when they ended I had a gruesome paper to write that I had been putting off for over a month that was due two days prior (I got a couple days extended).

After I finally finished the paper, which normally should have only taken me an hour or two to write, yet took me four hours to finish, I got ready for film club- something fun, right?

Well BJ-M decided that none of them were going to go, and I already agreed to meet an acquaintance there.  So I was stuck, without any of my confidants, attending film club expecting to see the Pres there.  Luckily he was too much of a pussy to show his face.

A good friend, we'll name her K Girl, ended up coming by and we went to BJ-M's place, despite that fact that he pissed me off by not attending last minute.

*****

We walk into a house, which you must imagine, that I know like the back of my hand.  I've basically lived there the past three and a half months.  The guys that live there are my best male friends, and know more than most about me, vice versa.  It's the kind of friendship that I can just show up unannounced and we end up hanging out cooped up there for three hours straight.

We have a solid group of friends that party and hang out with us that we very rarely stray from and if we do it's usually only one or two randoms that show up.

So I walk in and walk downstairs to where there is a plethora of party voices, only to find SEVEN people whom I have absolutely NO idea who they are, and only TWO of my friends.  You must understand that to walk into a situation like that with no prior warning is very uncomfortable.

It turns out that these are people BJ-M  and friends met on spring break in Panama.  One of which, is a girl BJ-M was obviously hooking up with considering the fact that she CLUNG to his arm as if the world was going to end...ALL night.  If that wasn't annoying enough, she was extremely unfriendly when I attempted to talk to her.

The time I spent trying to enjoy myself with K Girl and Jar (another friend), was soiled only by BJ-M coming up to me and whispering in my ear "oh my god you're so poutty, stop pouting!  wow you are so mad at me!  You are so mad!  You're pouting so much!"

*****

Truth is, I was really trying to have fun up until that point- I was singing along with the music, dancing with my friends.  But after he kept doing that- which is what he obviously wanted to see me doing, and after the hooker that was clinging was as unfriendly as she was, I really did start to pout.

I sat there with phone in hand, and played on it for 2 hours.  Once I was finally okay to drive I up and left, barely saying goodbye to anyone.

I turned to the hooker and throw her a quick "nice meeting you," without really even looking at her, and leave.

What probably pissed me off the most was the fact that BJ-M was a completely different person in front of this girl.  He wouldn't even play the music he liked (hardcore) until she left, but when she came back he'd switch it off.  He barely talked to me and Jar because we are the prime people he likes to freak out on, which I'm sure he didn't want to do in front of her, even though we all know he's only joking around, or that's just how he is.

*****

I don't care anymore.  I'll admit it.

I don't have those kind of feelings for BJ-M anymore.  But I definitely am the competitive, jealous best friend.

I don't like change- especially when I see it going in a bad direction.  Anyone who asks you, or you feel you must, change yourself for, isn't worth it.  Who I am is too important, more important than some college hook up or relationship.

I think I need a break from my group of friends now.

Really?

Life is very strange.  So I met a new boy.

I've known him... kind of.  He's president of film club.  So I see him every other week, yet we've never talked one on one, nor seen each other outside of actual FC meetings.

On Valentine's Day he made a comment on one of my facebook statuses (facebook is getting so lame, I know) making a joke of V-Day.

Then, last night at the meeting we started talking.  He ended up coming out with the core group of us and we talked the whole time...

He has a girlfriend but it isn't going well.

I'm not going to be that girl to move in on him while he's in a relationship, but there was definitely chemistry there.

Hopes aren't going up though,  I know how this could play out and it could end with him and her being happily or unhappily together, while I've gotten into this really deep crush on a guy who won't ever realllllly leave her.

Shit isn't going down like that.

Enjoy another look into my life!

Our film for the Spring 48/5 competition as part of the East Lansing Film Festival.

Required Elements-

Genre: Drama

Location: Bowling Ally

Prop: Remote Control

Line of Dialogue: "You're running out of gas"

Yet Another 48/5

Did I say that this weekend was going to be fun? I'm sorry to have mislead you.  I meant it was going to be stressful, and it has been.

Lets start with yesterday:

48/5 begins at 6.  The elements are as followed:

Prop:  Remote control

Location: Bowling Ally

Line of Dialogue: "You're running out of gas"

 We all meet for our collaboration dinner over drinks, cigs, and food.  We talked for about 3 hours and came up with the perfect idea that everyone agreed on.  At the very end of the meeting a person throws out a new idea, and last minute, without any prep or development they decide to use it.  Fuck.

A couple of us go back to BJ-M's place to write the script around 9 PM.  We decide, since it was so sudden, to write both ideas.  We end up writing 5 scripts.  Around midnight we get into deep conversation about our first idea that we had at the collaboration meeting.  Sounds like we're going to use it.  Then we read the second script idea that they came up with last minute- they decide to use it.

The kid who wrote it leaves and we all start talking about the script.  We decide to go back to the first idea.  It's now about 1:45 AM.  There are some issues, so they think, with the script.  We re-write it.  It's now 3 AM.  The guys aren't happy with it.

This is where EB gets crabby from being up until 3:30 AM and decides to say 'fuck it' and leaves.

I go home, knowing I need to be up at 8 AM to meet at the bowling ally to film.  Set my alarm.

I wake up and it's bright outside- look at my phone and it's turned off!  It was 11:30 AM and I had about 10 missed calls/texts.

Run to the  bowling ally only to find out that they wrote a completely new script.  Good stuff.  

Everyone was stressed, exhausted, but filming went great.

Now I'm at work, knowing I need to be up early again tomorrow to complete our 48/5...

Lets just hope we are rewarded in the end, if not with a 1st place prize, then at least with the fact that we beat out the two professional production companies that entered the competition.

A Fun Weekend to Come

I'm feeling a bit better.  Exhausted, but better.

I've been trying to work as much as possible, although I did miss two of my scheduled shifts this week due to school and exhaustion.

My logic is if I work and make enough money, I can start to distance myself from my parents wallet, hopefully proving to them that I can manage my finances enough to take a loan.

Lets hope it works!

In other news, another 48/5 is taking place this weekend and I am hoping Fight Song Films (my production team) kicks some ass in order to hold our winning title.  Last time we beat out two of Michigan's production companies (prior to the talk of them building a huge one in Pontiac).  One of them placed second, and the other took third.  We've found out through the help of facebook that for this 48/5 they've decided to combine powers.

I have a keen feeling that it will work against them, and in favor of us... at least, I hope.

Since I'm working another double at work tonight (11:30 PM to 7 AM) I intend on sleeping ALL day tomorrow until 6 PM when the competition starts.  Then it is work, work, work, all weekend long.

I guess there is some good in the Winter season, huh?

A Shitty Day

Today is not a fun day.

For one, today is Ex-Boy's birthday.  For those of you that remember that far back, a year ago today Ex-Boy and I started officially dating.  I hate looking back now on how all of that turned out.  It makes me feel ill.

Also, last night was a premise for my bitterness today.

The story goes, BJ-M, one of my really good film friends that treats me like 'just one of the guys', and I have hung out a LOT over break.  Tons.  Well school has started again and nothing has changed.  Before, I used to think that BJ-M and I would inevitably hook up.  It was bound to happen.  Then new years came and he hooked up with a friend of mine, which was totally fine and it made me realize that I wouldn't want to hook up with him because it would make things weird between us, and our friendship is too awesome for that.

Well two nights ago, the inevitable did, in fact, happen.  We were drunk, and we made out.  Yesterday morning when I woke up lying next to him I was kind of worried about it- then he woke up and NOTHING was awkward- it was fine!  Yes! I thought.

Noooo.  It's bad.  Last night one of the other actresses BJ-M uses in his films (he directed A Little Change) came over there and was partying with us.

I 've known from the beginning that BJ-M is a man whore- I'm okay with that- but they hooked up...and she has a boyfriend.

I guess what bothers me more than the fact that I made out with him the other night and then he fucked another girl the next night is the fact that he fucked a girl with a boyfriend.

I've been cheated on by Ex-Boy and it's not fun.  To be an accessory to that, in my opinion, is just as bad as actually cheating.

I guess I just lost a lot of respect for him there.  And it has been boiling in my thoughts all day.  That on top of the anniversary of mine and Ex-Boy's relationship just makes today suck a little bit more...

Just in case

For those of you who missed out the first time, and because I'm being nostalgic:

Here is the film we made for the 48/5 film competition (which one first place, and an entry into the East Lansing Film Festival)

ENJOY!!!

Waiting

I recently auditioned for a short film that had a concept that really stuck with me. In a scene from the screenplay a man is talking about how he was always waiting around for stuff to happen. He waited for everything, and felt as though he spent most of his life waiting. He finally decided to stop waiting and take control of his life.

When you really think about it, it's so true. We do, in fact, spend most of our lives waiting. Whether it's waiting in line, waiting for your food at a restaurant, waiting at a traffic light, waiting for a certain movie to come out- we spend a lot of time doing something that is pretty boring.

Personally, I'm so sick of waiting around for things to happen. Waiting for life to take place. Yet, how do you change? How do you stop all this waiting and take over your life? How do you make things happen for yourself?

If anyone has the answer, please, let me know.

A New Year

New Years Eve/ New Years...

A film club friend, we'll call him BJ-M, decided, after much applied pressure from me, to throw a New Years party.

The whole day of NYE was spent drinking.  My friend, Beth, came over and we drank Mimosas, cranberry and vodka, bacardi and lemonade, and more.  We maintained a constant buzz all day as we prepared for the night.  Another friend, SM, came up from home.

We went over to BJ-M's place around 6:30.  I was pretty drunk by 8.  We left for an hour to attend another party, and returned by 9:30.  We all drunkenly watched the ball drop and then danced and sang (read: screamed) to music blaring from BJ-M's Bose speakers.

Next thing I know, I'm full on making out with FA (remember him?).  We are standing, making out in the center of all of these people dancing and singing to random music.  We make our way to a not-so-private chair in the corner of the room.  Lets just put it this way- things got heated, perhaps a little too heated for public.  Can't say I didn't enjoy it- but it is now the new year.

New years brings new resolutions.  I've thought this over.  I have some good ones.  I feel as if I say them out loud, though, I'll never actually succeed.  So for now, I'm leaving them to myself.  Lets just say, though, they don't involve random make outs in public- nor do they involve going over to NNBoy's to "watch a movie".

Time to clean up my act.

With that said, New Years this year, was probably the best party I've ever been to.

Not to mention both of my friends were total vixens, both bringing in the new year with new men.

Way to go girls.

Writing Reality, Not a Script

Once I was sitting in the library cafe, and these guys were sitting behind me.  I kept catching bits and pieces from their conversations and let me tell you- they were quite ridiculous.

One of the guys was in a relationship.  His issue was should he call the girl because he knew if he didn't he'd get in trouble with her, however, he really didn't feel like talking to her.

The friend was being a total 'bro', if you will.  "Dude, don't call her.  Or call her really late at night after she went to sleep so she won't want to talk to you."

After he finally called her, they continued on with conversation.

The guy with the girlfriend started to tell his friend an elaborate story, in which he obviously put a lot of effort into constructing to make it seem witty and great.

After this guy tells his extremely long story, his friend turns to him and says, "So, I have this problem where I don't listen when people talk, seriously, its been going on forever, ever since I was a little kid.  My teachers and parents would always get so mad, but they knew I couldn't help it.  So, What did you say?"

It's things like this that I need to look for in conversation in order to make my writing more real.  Sometimes I feel like everything I write is so over-scripted.  Of course I'm not just talking about blogging, but the screenplays I am working on as well.

It's hard to always keep these little conversations I overhear in mind while writing, and I find myself going back, over, and over, and over again changing things to make it seem more real.

A Post In Response to a Reader and an Evening of, Well...I Don't Know.

Part A:

Jest (who's blog is AMAZING by the way)  wanted to know why I think NNBoy is a player.  So I thought I'd address that because, as she pointed out, I did mention that before.

The reason I believe this is for a couple reasons.

1.  He's the kind of guy who throws out these wonderful lines that you only hear in movies, to make you (me) feel amazing.  Which got me to thinking- he's way too good at this.

2. The night that NNBoy came to my apartment party he got pretty drunk.  Of course, me being semi-sober, I thought it was a great idea to encourage him to keep drinking.  Well in leu of that, he was unable to even read his text messages- in which he asked me to read one of his.  NNBoy has a fancy phone.  The kind that shows you not only the text in which he received, but the string of texts pertaining to that particular one.

I got to not only read that he is using the same material with some other girl, but also that she might be coming up for a visit and they are planning to see a film together.  Of course I jokingly told him "Wowwwww NNBoy I see you use that line often."  In which he responded- "What?  I mean, she's just this girl  thats been blowing me off and stuff- She offered to pay for a movie so I accepted, thats all- how do I know that you don't have a string of guys that you talk to..etc. etc."

3. Everytime I brought it up- you know, that he's at "playa status" he wouldn't deny it- he would just say something along the lines of "like your phone isn't blowing up from thousands of guys"

4.  He's admitted to the fact that his best friend truly is a player.

To be quite honest- none of this matters to me.  We just met.  I'm trying my hardest not to fall too hard for the kid, and knowing that he could be a player is helping me to keep my guard up a bit.

Part B:

It's funny that Jest has asked about him because tonight him and I hung out.

I had baked cookies today, so I brought over a tupperware of some.

EB: "Hey.  I brought you a present"

NNBoy: "Oh yeah?  Oh..I'm so full"

EB:  "Okay...well eat them later then"

No "thank you for the cookies"- Nothing.

The rest of the night wasn't any better.  It consisted of us 'jokingly' fighting/picking on each other back and fourth.  Unlike most of the times we hung out, he wouldn't cuddle with me.  When I jokingly tackled him he wouldn't kiss me, and when I threatened to leave he didn't care.

I mean, yes, we were joking.  However, if I wanted to be jokingly insulted half the night, I would have called my brother and had a lovely conversation with him.

I finally told him I was leaving and got up.  I told him he might want to come lock the door after me and his response was "I'm not going to get up only so you can come back in here 3 minutes later."

That did it.  He challenged me- I had to.  I left his apartment, left the apartment complex, and drove a couple miles down the road to a friends place in which I spent the night with 4 of my film club guys goofing off, drinking beers, and watching films.

I must say I enjoyed myself much more with them than with him.  Oh, and also- they showed COMPLETE appreciation for the cookies I brought them.

I didn't want to end the night with NNBoy on a bad note so I texted him "Have a good Christmas, see you after the holiday."

His response: "I don't chase if that's what you thought would happen but thanks you too"

My response: "I didn't.  I went out.  Thanks."

I don't like playing games, and I'm not going to put up with someone if I don't think they want me there.

I would, however, like to know what my readers would have done given the same situation.  Was I too harsh?  Did I get my point across?  Do you think NNBoy will ever want to see me again?

I get myself in trouble

The thing about hanging out with all guys is that I forget that, in reality, I'm not just one of the guys.

I am a girl.  A girl who finds some of her guy friends attractive.  When the liquid courage is flowing and I'm basking in the fact that I'm hanging out with a bunch of attractive guys and I'm the only girl, I forget that most of them don't look at me like that.  Rather, just one of the guys with my own little quirk (mine just happens to be that I'm female).

Don't get me wrong- obviously, based on what happened in leu of our winning the film competition, some of them don't just look at me as one of the boys.

But for the most part, that's how it goes.

Although it'd be nice to say- yeah I get to hang out with all of these guys and they all want me; I can't.

And you know what?  I think I'm okay with that.

Sometimes it's nice to just hang out with the opposite sex with no sexual tension in the way.

Star Status

Lets face it.  When it came to acting in high school I never really had that confidence that probably would have helped me nail every audition.

After doing well in the 48/5, however, I'm feeling that "I'm awesome" feeling.  I don't think it has quite crossed over to cocky yet (although I did make a paparazzi joke in reference to me arriving at a party today) and I'm hoping it never does.

I had two auditions this past week.  One was for a film for an MSU film seminar class.  I think I did well- got a lot of laughs (the roles I auditioned for were comedic).

The other was a for a filmmakers club film being made, of which I really think I nailed.

Two conclusions I've come to:

1.  Confidence makes all the difference- The fact that I'm the only girl in Film Club helps because I get a lot more attention than I'm used to.

2. Acting for film is so much easier than acting on stage-  Stage acting is over dramatized and I always felt like when I auditioned for a stage production I had to a. overact and b. be as 'different' from the others as possible.  With film everything is on much more of a 'real' scale.  No overacting, really, and you don't worry so much about being different from the other auditionees but rather conveying the right emotions.

Lets hope that I get a part in either one.  I'd be happy with either.

And now...I must return to the dreaded accounting- which I only have to worry about for 4 more days before it's out of my life FOREVERRRRR!

8 Drinks Deep

My friends...are the best 'wing-girls' ever.

Last night, I brought my three friends (see halloween post) along with me to the premiere of our film.  When they got in the car I noticed they were all pretty trashed.  "Great!" I thought, "This is going to be fucked up."  I'm not going to lie, I was worried that they were  going to embarrass me, or seem annoying to my film club buddies.

Honestly, I had nothing to worry about.  Film club boys all loved them.

After we won we decided to take all our prize money and buy shit tons of alcohol.  We were on a mission to get wasted in celebration!

So we go to our trusty director's house.

I had 4 1/2 shots of Sambouka (I have no clue how to spell it), 2 shots of burnettes, a couple beers, and a mixed drink of captain and cider.  So, as I'm sure you can guess,  at the time I didn't fully appreciate how awesome my friends are at talking me up to, we'll call him, FA. 

Apparently they told him, "So many guys like EB" "She turns them all down, though"  "The guy she likes now is so so hot."

Who would have thought that would make FA interested? I didn't.  Apparently it did.  His response was, "Oh, really?!  Who is this guy. What's his name?!"

This altimately ended in a hallway-makeout session, in front of pretty much all of film club.

Way to go Wing-Girls.

I love my life.

A Treat

okay everyone- this is a once in the lifetime free pass into who I am.

Anonymity put aside.  Frankly, because I've worked realllly hard on this film...

and...

WE WON FIRST PLACE!!!!!  That's right.  First place in the 48/5- we are off now to the East Lansing Film Festival and the  Michigan Great Lakes Film Festival.

Enjoy this- cause I probably won't ever post it on here again!

'A Little Change'

I'm Late

Okay, I realize I'm a little late for it to still be considered the 23rd.  This whole blogging once a day, everyday business is harder than I thought it would be, especially with how busy this weekend has been.  I feel like the business doesn't even stop-

A recap:

Thursday night I went to see Twilight with a select few.  It was fun and I enjoyed the movie (I'm trying to be as careful with my words here about the movie as possible).

Friday started 48/5- we all met up that evening for a collaboration meeting in which we discussed ideas- I got to go to bed early cause I knew I'd be filming all day Saturday.

Like I said, all day Saturday was spent filming at a bakery.  I was in front of a camera for about 10 hours.  About 12 hours were spent in the actual bakery, and another 3 or 4 hours spent at our awesome director's house.

Sunday (today for me still) I woke up, hung around alllllll day doing nothing (such a nice feeling), went over to the director's house to see the closest thing to the final cut (they were still doing some editing for the premiere), and finally, went to dinner with Tricia.  I got a couple hours of sleep, and here I am, working away until 7 AM.

I. Am. Exhausted.

Tomorrow I have one class, then we have the premiere at 7 PM, we'll all probably go get dinner or something after to celebrate (lets hope we win!).

Tuesday I have two classes, then that evening I either have film club OR I have an audition for a film club movie (the audition is still tentative).

Wednesday morning I pack up and head home for my all time favorite holiday ever (just go read last year's Thanksgiving posts to get the point).

Thursday is Turkey Day!

Friday is shopping day!

Saturday and Sunday are both leftovers days.

As much as I love it all, it will be a relief when it's all over.

48/5 update.

Just in case any of those sneaky 48/5ers from other teams reads my blog, I'm not going to tell you the plot of our film.

I can say...it's going to be HILLARIOUS.   I would link it to youtube, but it could ruin the anonymity behind my blog.

I will also say, if you are really interested in seeing it, then comment my blog w/ your email, and I'll send you the youtube link.  However it probably won't be up on youtube until after Monday night.

We spent the whole day filming, and secured a bakery (Which we are pretty sure no other groups would be able to surpass the limits we broke).  We literally worked all day- from about 9 AM til 10 PM.

I must say, I absolutely love film acting.  It's so much more subtle and it doesn't have to be so over the top like stage acting is.

I also have to say it was definitely nice hanging out with about 12 guys ALL day.  Neither of the other two girls came so it was just me and a bunch of dudes.  I just can't wait to see the results of the film completely edited with the music put in and all.

Film Film Film

Today has been hectic, to say the least.  The day is finally here; the 48/5 competition started tonight.  Prior to that, though, I had a class (in which I had an accounting project due), then I had an audition (which was for another film club movie).  I felt pretty busy... and pretty cold!  All of the sudden it was 25 degrees out today!  I can't stand Michigan weather.

Tomorrow will be psychotic, to say the least.  I'll have to get up at 5 to call and see if I have to blow, then at 8 AM we are meeting to start filming.  The boys are doing all the writing tonight; should be done by 3 AM.

The one thing I noticed when we had our collaboration meeting just now, was how much of a 'guys thing' film is.  I definitely had to work hard to voice my opinions in a way that made sure they were heard.

With that said, tonight was a ton of fun.  Our group has about 12 people in it, only 3 of which are female.  We got our required dialogue, location, and prop:

Line of dialogue- "I've lost my mitten"

Location- Bakery

Prop- box of hair dye

We came up with some pretty great things incorporating it all.  What's nice is that it doesn't have to focus on these things, they can just be in the background.

I probably won't get much sleep this weekend, so I'm going to take advantage of an early night tonight and hit the sack.

Night Blogging world!

I'm going to be dead tired.

Today is relaxed...this evening; not so much.  From  5:30-6:45 I have an audition for a film club movie, 7-9 I have a work meeting at Bath and Body Works which happens to coincide with a work meeting from Night Reception (I really don't think I can be in two places at once!), then from 3-7 AM I work night reception.

I have a feeling I'm going to  be DEAD tired tomorrow... just a hunch.

I also found out recently that I get to reprise my roll as a prostitute in one of the film club's member's thesis film.  I just can't wait to stand outside in the wintery weather wearing next to nothing!  (That was sarcasm, my friends.)

Speaking of film club, this is the busiest week for me in relation to it.  I have the audition tonight, the prostitute scene on wednesday, and then this weekend is the 48/5 competition in which I'll be working on that the WHOLE weekend.

I love it, I really do :)