"Franny and Zooey" by: JD Salinger

I love being home, yet I hate it. I get to see Loren and Jesse, that's the good part. There's the chance that I'll run into him, that's the bad part. Loren and I went to Meijers tonight really late. It reminded me of this past summer, when Meijer after work was a usual thing. The only thing I could think of being there tonight was what if you happened to be there. I wouldn't even be able to speak to you, let alone look at you twice. I'd just have to walk away. You still have my book. I want it back. I don't even want to see you, but I want my fucking book back. I swear I even saw you. Guilty. I was looking. I wanted to see you so bad so I could look away, so you would know how badly you fucked up. So you would know we really aren't ever going to be friends again. I want to hurt you. I want you to realize what you gave up. Mostly I just want my fucking book back. As soon as I get that fucking book back you will be behind me. I'll burn your letters, your address, delete you out of my phone, and delete you out of my life. Please, just let that book show up in my mailbox, or something. The best present I could get this year is that book. As soon as I have that book, I can put you behind me. There will be nothing holding me to you. Nothing to connect us. Thinking about thanksgiving, I'm so fucking thankful to learn what a coward you were. You were the biggest blessing in my life, because you taught me the biggest lesson I've learned. You taught me what a true friend isn't. You taught me how not to treat others. You taught me never to trust someone you love, unless they're your blood. I have a feeling if we cross paths again I'll have a burning passion within to punch you in the face, but I know what I need to do. I know that if we do cross paths I must turn the other way. Not even leaving you with a smile. It's time to forget. It's time to move on. Just please, I want that book. As soon as that book enters my life again, you'll be out of it...and I can't fucking wait.

"Why do we do what we do?"- Chuck Palahniuk

It's Friday. A beautifully ugly Friday. It's cold and dark outside. I don't care. It's still Friday. Tonight, is going to be amazing. My welcome home, if you will. This weekend, for that matter, will be amazing. I have to go to a conference with my WRA Prof. I don't care, though. It's Friday. I have to go to math- it's still Friday.

I love Chuck Palahniuk's style of writing. It's disgusting, yet amazing. It captures and consumes its reader in the best way possible. Just finished reading "Lullaby", loved it. Reading "Diary" now, so far, so good. I think "Invisible Monsters" and "Survivor" will always be my favorites, but we'll see what comes of "Diary" "Choke" and "Haunted".


I also love The Album Leaf. this kind of music not only is beautiful to listen to, but it makes you feel. It generates emotions. That's the best kind of music there is, in my opinion. I think The Album Leaf has even surpassed Explosions In The Sky, for me. I still their music though. Four Tet is still new for me, so we'll see what comes of that I guess.

Four more minutes.

Something like insomnia

Every night, I sit at my computer, tired as can be. When I finally get my lazy ass up, climb the latter, and am in my lofted bed, I can't sleep. I just lay there with my eyes wide open. I don't even think about shit. I just blankly lay. I finally made a dent in "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahniuk. He is by far one of my favorite authors. I can't even put into words what entices me to continue reading in his books. I only hope to one day write something as interesting as his material.

An hour and a half until the train goes by.