So Cal and More

My parents are moving...

I'm moving?

It's complicated.  My dad is getting relocated from Michigan to LA, California.  I'm going to school still at MSU.  Now though, when I want to go home or to go see my parents or my dog, I have to fly to LA...

It's weird.  I almost feel homeless.  I have my apartment, but I don't have a house.  My parents will have a house in LA- but is it really home to me?  I've never even been to that house.

So I have no home.  My parents have a home.  Not I.

***

In other news, Buffalo Wild Wings is now off of my "safe places to eat" list.  Thanks to their wings I spent the night sleeping on my bathroom floor, extremely unhappy.

Also, film film and more film.  I've missed it these past couple of weeks, but it is now coming back.  I'll be doing a voice over sock puppet skit with my costar from A Little Change in which I'm a Sarah Palin Sock Puppet and he's a Bush sock puppet for a new sketch comedy tv show that Fight Song Films is putting on.  I also just auditioned for a role in a mockumentary, so we'll see what happens with that.

Live long and prosper people.

London and Paris

My spring break has started and it's a good thing, too.  Tomorrow will consist of packing and spending the day going through customs at the airport.

Our flight to London departs at 6 PM and arrives, MI time, at 2 AM, London time that is 8AM.

Good thing I work shitty hours because I won't get jet lag too horribly.

Wednesday and Thursday will be spent in Paris.

We depart London on Saturday to head back to the states.

I. Am. So. Excited!!!!

Seasonal Craziness

It's about that time of the season where I've had enough.  The cold is so annoying, I just want it to be warm.

I've had enough of the weather, enough of fighting with my parents, enough of school, everything is just ENOUGH!

I know it's seasonal, and I know once it warms up everything will seem to suddenly get better, but right now I just feel really out of control.

I have so much to get done- but then I feel like I have nothing to get done all the same.

-Read for Astronomy

-Read for film

-Watch movie for film

-work on my theater scene

-Read shakespeare (ugh) for English

I'm SO FRUSTRATEDDDD.

It Has Been Way Too Long!

My last update was 1/20/09.  That was 11 days ago.  It feels like it has been a year.

Really, I don't have a great excuse for not updating.  I mean, I have been pretty busy trying to keep up with all my reading and homework for school.  Then there has been auditions, and film club, among other things.

Probably the greatest consumption of time has been fighting back and forth with my parents.  Why, you ask?  Three reasons.  These three reasons, however, combine nicely to form one main reason.

I'll start from the beginning.

My parents have always said that they want me to study abroad.  They wanted me to go for a whole semester because that way the cost would be equal to what it would cost me to study at MSU a semester, with no real additional cost (maybe like 200 dollars more, total).  After joining film club, and meeting BJ-M, I learned about a study abroad program that is perfect for me.  Basically, it's 6 weeks over the summer in London.  The program is called 'Film in Britain' and it consists of 9 credit hours (more if I'd like) and making my own film, pre-production to post-production.  There isn't another study abroad like it,  because it was created with the intent to cater directly to my major.

I told my parents about the program and they, obviously, wanted more information on it, cost, etc.  So, I sent them a heartfelt letter about how much I wanted to go and why, also including all of the finance information.  The program is expensive, I'm not going to lie.  It would be about 8,000 dollar more than it would cost for me to just take classes at MSU over the summer.

My parents said no to the program, after already letting me apply.  I understand completely that my parents can't afford it right now, however I really really want to go on this program.

I then asked my parents if I could take out a loan to finance the Study Abroad.  A note I should make is that my parents pay for everything for me- food, rent, utilities, tuition, everything (they never let me get a credit card or take loans out to pay for anything).  They said no to the loan.

This is where I get really upset.  I understand them not paying for it, but I don't get how they won't let me pay for it.  Most normal students have taken out at least one loan.  The worst part is- I'm in this position where I can't even take one out on my own without them cosigning.  My parents won't give me their financial information to fill out a FAFSA (document needed to get loans w/out a cosigner), and they won't cosign, plus I have no credit to apply on my own because they never let me build credit.

This leads me into reason 2 why we are fighting.  My parents never thought about the fact that their financial situation or the economy could change in the future.  So as I was young, and my brother was growing up, he got a lot that I never got.  For example, my parents financed two cars for him, out of state tuition, a 15,000 dollar study abroad program when he was in High School, study abroad when he was in college, and only a year ago they cosigned a 50,000 dollar loan for his graduate school.

What pisses me off the most out of all of those things is the loan.  They can trust my brother to pay back 50,000 dollars, yet they don't trust me to pay off a fraction of that.

I have a job.  I wouldn't even need to defer payments- I could start paying the interest now.  But no, my parents don't have that much faith in me, I guess.

The third reason is part of the second, in the fact that my car, Betty, is a total piece of shit.  She broke down on me in the middle of a main road the other day, and my parents weren't the least built helpful.  They payed for a car for my brother, then, when he sold it, put some more money into another car for him.  Yet my car, a hand-me-down from my grandma, keeps breaking down, and they aren't doing anything about it.

I may sound really ungrateful for all that my parents gave me, but I don't want you to think that.  I'm so grateful for everything my parents have given me in life, however, by giving me so much, they've debilitated me, in a way.  I'm so financially dependent on them because of it, that I can't even take out a freakin' loan on my own, whereas most students, who've had credit cards and such, could just get one without a cosigner based on their credit.

I have more to say on the subject, but this is long...

To be continued...

When The Brother is in Town, Shit Will go Down

If you didn't know, I have an older Brother. We'll call him BPhil (no his name is not Phil, it just works as a nickname). Well my brother lives year round in London, working for a marketing company, and completing his masters at the London School of Economics. The last time BPhil was home was over a year ago.

Needless to say, a lot has happened over the year. For one, apparently our relationship went from a passionate hatred of sibling rivalry to a friendly brother/sister type...thing, I guess.

Normally we would never exchange gifts, so when I did my holiday shopping I only bought for my parents and Penny.

Well, BPhil arrived last night with gifts in tow for everyone, including me. I received a lovely LSE T-Shirt in which he guessed my size impeccably.

Today I was talking with my mother and told her I needed a gift idea for him, in which I'd go get on Friday, and give to him at the family Hanukkah party that evening.

My mother was quick to tell me that he is in desperate need of cologne, for he has been using his roommates for the past month. Perfect! I thought. I decided to go scope out his things and see if I could find even an empty bottle he might have brought with him in hopes of getting the last drop of cologne.

First I checked the bathroom- no luck, only his tooth brush and his deodorant resided there.

In a brave step, I decided to check BPhil's bedroom, I mean, he hasn't even unpacked yet, right? (Of course he wasn't home when I was doing this, I'm not that sneaky)

I walk into his room and first check the desk- nothing.

His suitcase was lying out open on the floor- I went to go stand over it and take a peak when something screamed out at me.

A lovely little travel box of Trojan Condoms was staring straight at me.

In a quick moment I ran out of his room, down the stairs and confronted my mother.

"Mom, maybe it's best if you just ask BPhil what he wears, and I'll get him whatever cologne he says."


Now, BPhil is almost 25 years old. It's kind of expected, and I'm pleased that he's safe about it...but come on- right on top in his suitcase?!


Merry Christmas Eve to me.

Things To Look Forward To

-Wings game

-The holidays

-Winter break in general

-Pistons game (?)

-New Years

-New classes

-January 19th

-January 29th

-London/Paris in the spring

-April 14th

Awkwardddd

Thanksgiving.

Well, lets start with the fact that we combined it, like I said in my previous post.  There was about 30 some people there.  It was ridiculously busy.

Also, as soon as I walked in I got bombarded by my family about winning the 48/5- everyone was oh so excited.  They all gave me shit about the fingers thing too :-/  I guess that just comes with the territory.

Dinner ends.  We are all sitting around, and my deadbeat cousins decide to make an announcement...

They're pregnant..again.  Oh boy.  Everyone says, in their most un-excited expressions "congrats..."

It was awkward.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has always been my all time favorite holiday.  If you couldn't tell from the week leading up to last year's Thanksgiving- I get really excited.

My whole life I would wake up in my bed and smell the turkey being made downstairs.  I'd rush down, peering into the dining room, only to see the most beautiful table set with our good China dishes and crystal glassware.  Off I'd be into the kitchen where my mom would be basting the Turkey and prepping to make the stuffing.  I'd flick on the Parade and we'd watch it as we'd prepare our feast.  My Aunt would head over around 10:30-11 ish and we'd all make my Great Grandmother's recipe for stuffing together.  My Aunt would prepare the chestnuts, I'd cut up the celery, and my mom would prepare the bread part.  We'd work all morning.  In the afternoon we would take a nap, and around 4:30 we'd start to get ready for the family.

As long as I can remember this has been my Thanksgiving day.  Around 20-30 people from my family would come and enjoy our feast with us.  When we were done we'd put away all the leftovers and head upstairs.  Around 2 AM my father and I would meet at the fridge and pig out on leftovers.

This year my family decided to change Thanksgiving.  A different Aunt of mine, who used to always have Thanksgiving with her husbands side of the family, is having it.  We, of course, are still making the stuffing...and the turkey, but my Aunt isn't coming in to help prepare, in fact, she isn't coming in at all.

It's going to be different.  It was already weird waking up, going downstairs, not seeing the table set, and leaving to go do a PBT at the police station.

I guess change is normal when you're in College.  It probably shouldn't faze me as much as it does.

Lets just hope Thanksgiving is still amazing.

The Airport.

I went and picked my brother up from the airport today. I've decided that airports are made for lonely people to feel even more lonely. Watching the people meet and greet their loved ones is almost saddening. Lame, I know.

Like I said, my brother is home. We are actually getting along, weird, I know. He treats me like a normal person- not really like a friend or anything, but just like a human being, hah.

I'm supposed to go to the piston's game tonight with mi padre and some other people who we haven't decided on yet. Problem is by the time we get there it's going to be so busy and crowded that it won't be fun. We'll for sure hit traffic- it won't be a good time.

If we don't go, I'll get to see my whole family, whom I miss very much. I'll get to see Hayden, my new, beautiful baby cousin I talk about all of the time.

I think I'm going to start video blogging. I don't know why, but all of the sudden I've realized I have a lot more to say when I speak, rather than when I type.

Give Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving all!!! It's my favorite day of the year. I woke up to turkey smells. It's the best. The baby was born yesterday at 6:15 AM. He's beautiful. His name's Hayden Lane Telfer. 8 lbs., 20 inches long. Beautiful green eyes. I got to hold him. He's just precious. Today will be spent relaxing, maybe actually working on a paper, or two. Then getting ready for the family to arrive.




I'm thankful for my beautiful family today, and everyday.

yeah.

I miss this. I hope this past summer wasn't the end, because I can't give it up that easily.

Just needed to get that out.


My cousin, Dan, and his wife, Tasha, are having a baby!! She is a little less than a week late and she's in labor!!! I'm so excited. A thanksgiving baby :) I have to go sign the lease for my apartment for next year, and then I'm rushing home to wait to go see Hayden Lane Telfer! It's a boy! I don't even know how to explain my excitement!

I've changed so much this past year. I never liked kids, or babies. Now, I can't wait to hold him! How weird is it how you can change and not even notice it?


weird huh?

Birth <---> Death

Last night, before I went to bed, I was talking to my mother on the phone. My cousin, Tasha, is having a baby. She's due any day now, and we were talking about if I'm going to be able to get work off or not. We decided that if I asked today at work about it, they'll probably let me go home if she happens to go into labor this weekend, so I wouldn't have to work my sunday shift. Well, a couple hours after our phone conversation I went to sleep. The phone conversation must have been in my sub conscious because I dreamt that I had to skip work, however, not for a baby, but rather for a death. Not only was it one death, but two deaths. The first was my step-aunt, Sheryl. I rarely ever see her, and we aren't close by any means. The other death was less clear. I know it was a grandparent of some sort, and I know it was on my mom's side, but I just don't know if it was my grandma (who is still living, and whom I really don't think it was) or if it was my grandpa (who is already dead, so it wouldn't make much sense). The whole thing kind of scared me. Now I'm kind of on edge every time my phone rings...



On a completely unrelated note, I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving! I know I've been blogging about this a lot, but it is honestly my favorite holiday. Super stoked.

You know what I haven't written in a while...poetry. I miss it.

"Friday Shift"

Vinyl on metal
chipped paint everywhere
Constant vibrations of treadmills
Running, running
Lifting (too much) lifting
House of power


That is dedicated to this gym job I do every friday, that keeps me writing.