Fresh

It blows my mind how fast time passes. Only a few days ago it was last year. I have to say, I'm feeling really good. I have a lot of resolutions this year, some of which will be a lot harder to keep, but I'm going to try. So far, so good.

For instance, one of my resolutions is to do 8 minute abs every day. Why not, right? It only takes 8 minutes out of my day and I feel great after I do them. That one is going really well, especially since I put it into my daily routine already.

One that I think will be difficult, however I have more help with this semester is doing better in school. This one is hard because the difficulty of it isn't that of doing abs each day. It challenges me mentally, socially, emotionally, and sleep-wise; physically. However, this year I started a new ADD medicine [who knew that, I, probably the most scatter brained person on blogger is ADD?! I only have been diagnosed for 4 years now ;) ] Unlike my old ADD medicine, this one is a stimulant- the real deal, and it has helped so much so far. So I'm hoping the motivation keeps up as long as I keep up on taking my meds.

Then there are the resolutions I'm not telling people. Those ones are more about feeding my soul, and perhaps, I'll share them when I feel more comfortable with them.


I'm just happy this year has started stress-free and in good health (no more being sick for months at a time!).

I hope everyone else gets their freshest of fresh starts this year as well.

Cheers!

Some Early Resolutions

Alright, I know it's a little early for this- but I have some I need to put out there right now to ensure a quality year next year.

Speaking of, it would seem that every year brings new challenges.  Last year was the 'Year of Sick'.  This year was the 'Year of Cops'.  Lets hope that next year will be the 'Year of Steamy Romance'.

Alright- now for these resolutions:

1. Get on top of school-

Study study study!  All 4.0s!

2. Stop talking to Ex-Boy.

It's getting ridiculous this coming and going act I keep putting myself through.  I need to cut that shit out for good.

3. Start being more forward with what I want with certain people 

(FA to be specific, if he's still around by then).

4. Get on top of my probation-

I have had too many close calls for my liking, whether it be forgetting to set an alarm, or drinking too much, even if I do stop before 10:30 pm.

5. Money management!

So self explanatory

Accounting and Starbucks

So,  I suck at NaBloPoMo.  I figured I post more than once a day so that makes up for missing yesterday :)

I'm in the library right now, my home, working on an accounting project.  I hate school.  Not really, I just hate business.  I'm so sick of caring about it, because really, who cares about money; as long as you have enough of it to live, and then some, it doesn't really matter.

Anyways, this week has been long, and it's only Wednesday.  Luckily, today was lovely.  I slept in, missed my class, and went and officially changed my major with the University Undergraduate Department.  Then, I went to Starbucks in which I ordered my favorite winter drink, a White Peppermint Mocha.  It was quite delicious.  As commercial as Starbucks is, they make some pretty yummy drinks.  I visited Barnes and Nobles and saw a bunch of books that will be going on my gift list this year.  I also window-shopped.  Thus, a great day was in the making.

Tomorrow I will be signing a lease for next year (we do it so early in East Lansing) with one of my best friends.  I can't wait.  Not that living with the boys is all that  bad, but sometimes you just need girl time.

I'm sorry this isn't more interesting to you all, but this accounting project really is taking most of my focus.

Excuse me

Please, I beg of you, excuse me for that mess of a post last night.

I've become delirious between the hours of 7 PM and 3 AM recently due to the lack of energy and extreme amounts of studying.

I must say though, even though I haven't taken my Accounting exam yet today, I feel completely renewed and relieved! Why, you ask? I, my friends, have just officially changed my major. This is the last week of me being a business major, I will soon be EB- in progress of a BA in English with a Film Studies concentration!

I went through and changed all of my classes for next sememster. It's so...refreshing.

Of course, my business classes this semester still matter...kind of.

The nice thing about an English major at MSU is you get two cognates- so all of my business classes can be used toward my major, filling up one cognate!! The other cognate, you ask? Well that will be theatre of course! I get to do all the things I love (and hate) in one major- yay!


I know you are all so sick of the updates on my academics- and believe me, soon enough I will be posting silly stories of parties past and anctedotes of fun times at film club- but until then- it's off to studying more for the dreaded accounting exam that is to take place in about 49 minutes :(

Ruh Rohhh!

So, I already failed NoBloPoMo by not posting, oops.  However, since I'm still awake and studying, I feel as if this post counts as still being Thursday, so lets pretend that it is :)

I'm in the library with my friend named Lucky- yes I have a friend who's name is legitimately named Lucky!

We're studying for accounting and we are exhausted.  However, we will overcome!

I still have another exam on Monday- econ, which I don't even bother studying for anymore, and then I shall be done with the hell that is my academic life.

I'd just like to take this time to say- the single life is the creeper's life.

I know it's so random, but it's late and I'm tired, so I'm gonna be random.

Back to my comment.

The reason I say this is because when someone is single,  I feel as though they tend to always keep a 'lookout' for that one person.  They start going to places that generally have more attractive people there.  Instead of hitting up Bigby's coffee which has the not so great looking baristas but is closer to my apartment, I'll go to starbucks to oggle the gorgeous barista man, whom is probably gay, with my luck.  I know it's not just me who does this, and if it is, then wow!  I'm creepy.  Not only that though, I feel as though when I meet new people I automatically become interested in who they are, if they're SINGLE, etc. etc.

 

What is it that automatically makes us search so hard, without even meaning to?

November

So, I've decided to to NaBloPoMo, which is basically a challenge to write a blog post (or, knowing me, more) a day.

For the purpose of not driving everyone crazy, I'm going to refrain from talking about the election, or anything politically related... I will say, whatever happens, happens.  We won't be able to change what the results are, so just have faith that whichever candidate wins will do a good job, and take good care of our country.

With that said, today has been a lazy day, and it had no right to be.  I have an exam Thursday, a paper due as well, and an exam Friday.  I should be studying.  I've seem to let my studies go.  It's hard to get back into the gist of things when your classes are completely uninteresting.  I'm meeting with an advisor from the English department on Friday so I'm hoping we can get everything figured out..

Not only has my motivation for school run dry, but I feel completely unmotivated to work on my screenplay as well.  I've deleted all of it except for two scenes.  It has no direction, and I need to figure it out.  I'd like to be able to do a read through with film club in a week.  We'll see if I even make it through this week with all the work I'm neglecting to get done.

And again, I find myself writing about absolutely nothing important...

The Character

I find myself, again, trapped in the library until 9 PM, studying only Accounting and reading for my middle eastern conflict class. What to do? I started writing on my little study breaks I allot myself. I was focused on one library-goer. A male, looked like a TA, grading blue books. In my head (and on paper) I wrote his whole life story from where he came from, his family, etc. Apparently knowing your characters is a huge part of writing (go figure). I made him an English major (no, the obsession has not yet subsided with my new major). He ran into a friend and chatted him up for a while across the room. Long story short, his friend ended chatting up another friend close by and I found out- he is and English major. Thanks to my awesome eavesdropping skills, I discovered I learned not only about the character I made up in my head, but about the man he's based off of. This has nothing to do with anything except digressing from my studies. Maybe I'll elaborate later...

Film Studies

'They' say that when you go to college, on average, you'll change your major twice before finally picking one you'll graduate with.  Technically, I've already changed mine twice- but I don't believe the first change counts.  When I applied for MSU I stated that instead of going in undecided, I'd do a journalism concentration.  About 2 months before I actually went to school, I had talked myself into doing a General Business Administration Pre-Law major.  So if you're really picky, I guess you could consider this my first 'major change', however, I don't.

The next time I changed my major was last year around the beginning of second semester.  I was thinking about what I would really do with a pre-law major, because I really didn't want to go to law school.

I knew from the time I graduated high school that I wanted to end up in Hollywood, I wanted to be the next 'Ari Gold'.  This being because I wasn't (and still, I'm not) good enough to actually do the acting (although, I still wish I were).

So there I was, thinking about pre-law, and it hit me.  "What am I doing?  As an agent your job is to market your client!"  Thus I changed  my major to marketing.

So really- that was my first major change.

I've been taking business classes for over a year now...and I hate them.  Absolutely hate them.  As you know, I joined film club recently, which has kick started my constant writing habits again.  What you don't know is that throughout all of my elementary education, writing has always been my favorite subject, and for the most part, I've been good at it (real writing, not this blogging crap).

So, to get to the point.  The other day I, in immense fear, told my parents that I was changing my major from Marketing (business major) to an English major with a film studies  concentration.  That's right.  I want to write screenplays, stage-plays, etc.  Needless to say, my parents kind of flipped a nut.  I explained to them, if I had to stay in a business major doing something I absolutely hated, then I'd just drop out of college and work at McDonalds, in which they finally decided to let me major in a subject I'm actually interested in.

I am now an English Major with a film studies concentration.

Hoorah!

Writer's block.

Okay.  I'm in the lib and I'm procrastinating working on Accounting.  What's new?

Here's what's new:  I want to write a screenplay for Film Club- but  I have major writers block.  Give me a topic- it can be extremely discriptive or vague.  I don't care.  I just need inspiration on what to write.  Keep in mind though, there is only one female in film club that is really willing to act (me), and a lot of guys.  Also, locations can be tight, so try to pick a topic that doesn't involve climbing to the top of Mt. Everest or whatever your little minds come up with.

thanks.

A Friday Night- Continued.

Remember how I was going to stay in last night and watch Roomie B's movies?  Well, before I even got the chance to pop a movie in, I was instant messaging with, we'll call him, Summer Fling (this fling took place the summer before my freshman year at MSU-2007).  We both had a lot of homework/studying to get done so I suggested we go to the library and hit the book, he agreed, and there went the idea of movies.

So we go to the library and we start to talk and next thing you know we're talking about why we didn't make it, etc etc.  Then a message comes over the loudspeaker stating that the library is going to close, so I, in my mind thinking about how we can still study but not be in an intimate setting (that could get weird), suggest that we go to the 24 hour coffee place down the road.  He, however, suggests that we go to his dorm to study.  I think about it for a second, and I think to myself, "you know, this is actually very friendly in the non-romantic sense, so that's fine".  Big mistake.

During our conversation in the car we shoot the shit, he tells me about a girl that might be coming to state in the fall that he is waiting for.  Supposedly, if everything works out and the transfer goes through, then they'll be a long-distance couple until she gets here.  I tell him about all my failed relationships since him, and it's still just friendly.

We get to the dorm, and it seems SF wants to do everything but study.  We put a movie on to watch while we hit the books.  He seemed to get a lot closer to me on the futon, when I stand up to look at something in his room he follows and gets right in my bubble.

Cut to sitting on the futon, he grabs my arm and my highlighter and starts to draw on it.  Then he takes my hand and starts playing with my rings.  All the while I'm trying to keep to studying and ignore the fact that he's coming onto me hardcore.  I don't know how it happened, but we started wrestling around a little, and I throw him off the futon, and he brings me down with him.  Next thing I know his face is less than a foot from mine.  Being cool-headed like I never am, I pull away and start the "awkward conversation".

Here's me: "What are you doing, you have a girl waiting for you, we can't do this, not to mention the fact that I'm not looking for any random hook-ups, I've had enough of those, I'm ready for something of substance."

Here' him: "Ughhh, but we're only hypothetical, it's not like we are actually dating...yet."

Here's me:  "Well like I said, regardless of her, I'm not looking for just hooking up- if you wanted to date again...maybe, but I'm not just hooking up with you."

Here's him:  "I'm not going to lie, I'm just a horny 20 year old."

So everything was settled, we got back to studying. So I thought, at least.  I glance over at SF and next thing I know he grabs me and kisses me.  Of course- stupid me, I melt.  We make out for a second- then I come to my senses and stop him.

Me: We can't do this.  What about her? Are you going to tell her you just kissed another girl.

Him: No.  We aren't dating yet.

Me: Way to start a relationship though...

Him: Ughh I'm a douchebag.

Again, the end of it, we get back to studying...

5 minutes later he's on top of me and we're making out like crazy.  Stupid Stupid Stupid me!  Lucky for us, I hear his suitemate and we stop immediately, his suitemate wanders into his room and mumbles something about taco bell, asks me my name, gets it wrong, then leave the room.  I tell SF, I need to leave...now.

I start getting my stuff together and it's like a movie- I'm standing to grab my sweatshirt, SF is looking at me, and next thing I know he grabs me and pins me against a wall and is kissing me.  I push him off, say a quick "it was nice seeing you again," and I'm off.

As disappointed in myself as I could be, because I keep telling myself I'm done with all this bullshit, I'm also pretty proud of myself for not letting it go any farther, and for leaving.  It would have been so easy and so comfortable to keep going and just spend the night there.  Good thing I left though.  That's not what I'm looking for anymore.  Not that I'm looking to find someone I'm gonna marry- but I'm sick of the random shit.  

I'm also glad to know that I can still have an interesting evening, without it involving alcohol.

Neighbor Boy, Cosi, Accounting, and Obama

Okay. I guess my last post wasn't very fair of me to introduce a new character of my life without going into any kind of detail. Neighbor Boy is exactly that- my neighbor. We met when I was visiting my apartment before I moved in and I saw him with his massive beast of a puppy. We struck up conversation and he invited me to a party of his.

Skip to Welcome week when we party together a couple times, start to drunkenly make-out (read: hook up), kind of date-ish for two weeks, and then stop due to a string of events that pissed me off.

Well, we haven't exactly made up, but we are on better terms than we were. It's kind of at this awkward, "I'm still mad at you because you didn't give me the apology I think I deserved, yet I don't want to be a total douche bag" Stage.

So now that you've been introduced to another one of the many awkward flings I've had- you'll have a good foundation just in case any other stories come of it (which, at this point, I'm doubting they will).

In other news:

Recently, every Wednesday, I've been going out to dinner with one of my friends (she happens to be roommates with Ex Boy, but I love her to death).  Well tonight we decided to hit up a cosy (no pun intended) little cafe type restaurant called Cosi.  It's absolutely adorable.  We shared a flat bread BBQ Chicken pizza and to top it off had s'mores for dessert.  They even gave us a little burner thing that they ignited with a match and all.  If you've never been there I suggest you try it- it's not too expensive for two people ($25).

Also:

I'm at the library right now procrastinating my studies.  I know, I know, I should get back to work, but for some reason Blogger seems so much more appealing than studying for my Accounting exam that is to take place on Friday.

ALSO:

BIG news!  Barrack Obama is coming to MSU TOMORROW!  I will be attending.  All I will say is this:  People are allowed to have opinions.  Me, I'm an independent when it comes to politics and I'm more fond of McCain than Obama, I will admit.  However, I believe it's important to hear both sides and make an informed decision, and since I get to have the opportunity to do so, right from the horse's mouth, why not? I'm very fond of Biden, and I feel he would make an outstanding VP, Palin- not so much.  All I know, the next four years are going to be interesting, regardless of which party is in power.

STRESS!

Midterms cause me loads of stress. That's all there is to it. Every night I've been lurking in the library studying away. I creep myself out with how studious i've become. Even so, I still feel like i've accomplished nothing. I'm NOT ready for this midterm. Anymore that I cram into my little head will just be moot.

The worst part:
I have my midterm today, one on tuesday, one the following friday, and one the next week! That whole finding a job thing- not going to be happening until I get through all of these exams!


On an even sadder not- Penny gets spayed on Saturday. My mother went to k-mart and bought her a babies onesie to wear. Apparently putting Penny in baby clothes will prevent her from licking her stitches- but the verdicts still out on that one ;-)

I must mention, contrary to popular belief, I HATE the Ottoman Empire. The class I have a midterm in today is called ISS 315: World Globalization- The Modern Middle East. Therefore, everything for todays exam focuses on the Ottoman Empire. Let me just say, the Ottoman Empire was one messy son of a bitch.

I should probably go study my flash-cards before the actual midterm.

Wish me luck- I'll need it.

The Library.

It's the only place I can study...okay scratch that. Considering I'm at the library to study macro-economics, and I'm on blogger instead, maybe I'm just incapable of studying. Speaking of:
They say that a person's mind can only focus on one subject for 20 minutes a time. Therefore, I find it perfectly fit to study for 20 minutes, at a time, taking a 3 hour break in between ;)

Okay, maybe not. I digress. In all honesty, I love the library. It's the perfect place to study when you want to multi-task. For me, I study econ, while effectively people watching all the interesting subjects that pass by. Like the kid in front of me for instance, my guess is he's trying to procrastinate by looking at the government form documents (which I'm sure he has no interest in) instead of doing his work.

For those that love people watching (it's one of my favorite pastimes) I suggest checking out the website- www.foundmagazine.com it's a site where people submit different things they've found. Mostly it's notes or doodles, lots of times to do lists. It's great insight into the notes of other people that we never get to read. On that note, I'd also like to recommend the more popular- www.postsecret.com These are intentional mail-in postcards with peoples secrets painted all over them. Beautiful artwork, and beautiful secrets.

May I just mention that this weeks lesson in Macro econ has taken me 9 pages of paper to write my notes on. I feel like all the trees in the world will hate me.

Again, my ADD gets the best of me. Off I am to finish studying so I can take yet another 45 minute break ;)

Finals...

are treacherous. I'm 3 down, and 1 to go, if you don't count the fact that I haven't turned in my final paper yet, even though it's done. I wrote that paper in, I would say the time span of a day. It kind of worries me, because my grade in that class is on the cusp of a 4.0 and 3.5. I have a 91.17- which is good- however, I don't want anything to bring it down- the participation grade in that class is why it's such a low A. I only have 62% participation in that class (I never really went because it was so easy). So I'm scared to turn the paper in because what if I'm missing something..I also know if I turn it in, it'll take a huge load off of my chest... what to do? Oh well I guess...


Another subject that's driving me crazy is math. I have a 3.0 in that class. For me, that's something to celebrate about... however, in order to keep the 3.0 I have to get a 70 on the final. Doesn't sound like it'd be too hard, does it? Think again. Math at MSU is hell. I've been studying for it for a couple hours now and I still keep making stupid mistakes. Now is when I wish Albert Einstein would posses me.


I really can't wait for all of this to be done. I went a little crazy this past week. Drinking Thursday through Sunday was not the brightest idea. Nor was continuing on Tuesday. My goal (which I will, whether I like it or not, achieve) is to not drink again until New Years). Going home will be so relaxing, too. I can finally catch up on reading and music that enjoy, rather those books I'm required to "read". I can also see all of my friends that I miss so dearly! Get some rest in, and laundry for that matter. In college, you don't learn how to be responsible... you learn how to re-wear clothes while avoiding stench and looking like a retard.

Really, now, I'm just putting off studying more for math... and walking back alone to my dorm. Good thing for mace ;)

It has definitely been one of 'those' days.

That, that is my study space. My study space is not sufficing. Maybe if I knew how to relax, life would be easier. Too much shit going on to worry about how to relax. How do you relax when...

- You have a job interview, a paper to get done, math to understand, a quiz to study for, reading to get done, have living "situations", are dead broke, only fall for gay boys, and you can't eat because your stomach has gotten so weak from dorm food?

If you have an answer that applies to all the above...please share. Or just lend me your gun. I'll do the honors.



Needless to say, Midterm week is kicking my ass- along with everything else. I need to learn to fight- metaphorically of course.

High traffic area.

My ISS class is somewhat of a joke at this moment in time.

I really like my prof, but sitting in a room for 2 hours learning how to do research for a paper (something I've been doing for quite some time now) is not my idea of an enlightening learning experience. Who doesn't know how to use google in this day and age?

I really can't believe she's giving out points for the people leading us in our google searches. Hah.

The girl sitting in front of me to the right, she's playing solitaire. The girl sitting in front of me to my left, she's on facebook. Another chick is playing with her cell phone. Some dude is asleep in the back row.

The people who are paying attention, well who cares about them?

I just hope that chick wins her game of solitaire, since Mac is incapable of putting solitaire on their iBook G4s.


New topic:

Isn't it so awkward when you're walking down the street and catch the gaze of someone else. It would all be fine if you both didn't hold the gaze too long. Yet you always do. Hold the gaze too long, I mean. And then you start thinking, if only. I do, at least.

New topic X2:

Carrie, from Sex and the City, once said, "We were having one of those great first dates you can only have when it's not an actual date."

I know what she means. I was watching that ridiculous show with my roommate (who loves S&theC), and I realized, I actually know that feeling! It's when it could never be a date, and you aren't quite sure if you'd want it to be, but it's perfect.


New topic X3:

I have no clue what my prof is speaking about.