I miss him

You don't realize how much a person has broken you until you're in retrospect.  When I received 'The Let Down's' response via email, I came to tears.  Not because it was mean or anything, just because I never realized how broken I really am because of him.

He broke my heart.  He did.  And now we're emailing. 

I feel relieved, upset, sad, scared, and nervous all at once.

We are to meet up around Christmas and I'll get my book.  Maybe then, once and for all, we can talk, and then... it will really  be over.  Because I can't have someone who broke my spirit soo much, in my life.  It isn't healthy.

As much as I love him and want him there...I can't.