A Shitty Day

Today is not a fun day.

For one, today is Ex-Boy's birthday.  For those of you that remember that far back, a year ago today Ex-Boy and I started officially dating.  I hate looking back now on how all of that turned out.  It makes me feel ill.

Also, last night was a premise for my bitterness today.

The story goes, BJ-M, one of my really good film friends that treats me like 'just one of the guys', and I have hung out a LOT over break.  Tons.  Well school has started again and nothing has changed.  Before, I used to think that BJ-M and I would inevitably hook up.  It was bound to happen.  Then new years came and he hooked up with a friend of mine, which was totally fine and it made me realize that I wouldn't want to hook up with him because it would make things weird between us, and our friendship is too awesome for that.

Well two nights ago, the inevitable did, in fact, happen.  We were drunk, and we made out.  Yesterday morning when I woke up lying next to him I was kind of worried about it- then he woke up and NOTHING was awkward- it was fine!  Yes! I thought.

Noooo.  It's bad.  Last night one of the other actresses BJ-M uses in his films (he directed A Little Change) came over there and was partying with us.

I 've known from the beginning that BJ-M is a man whore- I'm okay with that- but they hooked up...and she has a boyfriend.

I guess what bothers me more than the fact that I made out with him the other night and then he fucked another girl the next night is the fact that he fucked a girl with a boyfriend.

I've been cheated on by Ex-Boy and it's not fun.  To be an accessory to that, in my opinion, is just as bad as actually cheating.

I guess I just lost a lot of respect for him there.  And it has been boiling in my thoughts all day.  That on top of the anniversary of mine and Ex-Boy's relationship just makes today suck a little bit more...