When The Brother is in Town, Shit Will go Down

If you didn't know, I have an older Brother. We'll call him BPhil (no his name is not Phil, it just works as a nickname). Well my brother lives year round in London, working for a marketing company, and completing his masters at the London School of Economics. The last time BPhil was home was over a year ago.

Needless to say, a lot has happened over the year. For one, apparently our relationship went from a passionate hatred of sibling rivalry to a friendly brother/sister type...thing, I guess.

Normally we would never exchange gifts, so when I did my holiday shopping I only bought for my parents and Penny.

Well, BPhil arrived last night with gifts in tow for everyone, including me. I received a lovely LSE T-Shirt in which he guessed my size impeccably.

Today I was talking with my mother and told her I needed a gift idea for him, in which I'd go get on Friday, and give to him at the family Hanukkah party that evening.

My mother was quick to tell me that he is in desperate need of cologne, for he has been using his roommates for the past month. Perfect! I thought. I decided to go scope out his things and see if I could find even an empty bottle he might have brought with him in hopes of getting the last drop of cologne.

First I checked the bathroom- no luck, only his tooth brush and his deodorant resided there.

In a brave step, I decided to check BPhil's bedroom, I mean, he hasn't even unpacked yet, right? (Of course he wasn't home when I was doing this, I'm not that sneaky)

I walk into his room and first check the desk- nothing.

His suitcase was lying out open on the floor- I went to go stand over it and take a peak when something screamed out at me.

A lovely little travel box of Trojan Condoms was staring straight at me.

In a quick moment I ran out of his room, down the stairs and confronted my mother.

"Mom, maybe it's best if you just ask BPhil what he wears, and I'll get him whatever cologne he says."


Now, BPhil is almost 25 years old. It's kind of expected, and I'm pleased that he's safe about it...but come on- right on top in his suitcase?!


Merry Christmas Eve to me.