So we go to the library and we start to talk and next thing you know we're talking about why we didn't make it, etc etc. Then a message comes over the loudspeaker stating that the library is going to close, so I, in my mind thinking about how we can still study but not be in an intimate setting (that could get weird), suggest that we go to the 24 hour coffee place down the road. He, however, suggests that we go to his dorm to study. I think about it for a second, and I think to myself, "you know, this is actually very friendly in the non-romantic sense, so that's fine". Big mistake.
During our conversation in the car we shoot the shit, he tells me about a girl that might be coming to state in the fall that he is waiting for. Supposedly, if everything works out and the transfer goes through, then they'll be a long-distance couple until she gets here. I tell him about all my failed relationships since him, and it's still just friendly.
We get to the dorm, and it seems SF wants to do everything but study. We put a movie on to watch while we hit the books. He seemed to get a lot closer to me on the futon, when I stand up to look at something in his room he follows and gets right in my bubble.
Cut to sitting on the futon, he grabs my arm and my highlighter and starts to draw on it. Then he takes my hand and starts playing with my rings. All the while I'm trying to keep to studying and ignore the fact that he's coming onto me hardcore. I don't know how it happened, but we started wrestling around a little, and I throw him off the futon, and he brings me down with him. Next thing I know his face is less than a foot from mine. Being cool-headed like I never am, I pull away and start the "awkward conversation".
Here's me: "What are you doing, you have a girl waiting for you, we can't do this, not to mention the fact that I'm not looking for any random hook-ups, I've had enough of those, I'm ready for something of substance."
Here' him: "Ughhh, but we're only hypothetical, it's not like we are actually dating...yet."
Here's me: "Well like I said, regardless of her, I'm not looking for just hooking up- if you wanted to date again...maybe, but I'm not just hooking up with you."
Here's him: "I'm not going to lie, I'm just a horny 20 year old."
So everything was settled, we got back to studying. So I thought, at least. I glance over at SF and next thing I know he grabs me and kisses me. Of course- stupid me, I melt. We make out for a second- then I come to my senses and stop him.
Me: We can't do this. What about her? Are you going to tell her you just kissed another girl.
Him: No. We aren't dating yet.
Me: Way to start a relationship though...
Him: Ughh I'm a douchebag.
Again, the end of it, we get back to studying...
5 minutes later he's on top of me and we're making out like crazy. Stupid Stupid Stupid me! Lucky for us, I hear his suitemate and we stop immediately, his suitemate wanders into his room and mumbles something about taco bell, asks me my name, gets it wrong, then leave the room. I tell SF, I need to leave...now.
I start getting my stuff together and it's like a movie- I'm standing to grab my sweatshirt, SF is looking at me, and next thing I know he grabs me and pins me against a wall and is kissing me. I push him off, say a quick "it was nice seeing you again," and I'm off.
As disappointed in myself as I could be, because I keep telling myself I'm done with all this bullshit, I'm also pretty proud of myself for not letting it go any farther, and for leaving. It would have been so easy and so comfortable to keep going and just spend the night there. Good thing I left though. That's not what I'm looking for anymore. Not that I'm looking to find someone I'm gonna marry- but I'm sick of the random shit.
I'm also glad to know that I can still have an interesting evening, without it involving alcohol.
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